P. U.!

Air fresheners that make your house smell like a whore's hankey are not classy.

--Contributed by China.

Its 5:00 Somewhere...

Depending on where you are and what you're drinking (and what you're wearing), drinking in the middle of the day can be classy.

However, it isn't always, and can actually be one of the unclassiest things around (see also: Homecoming.)

--Contributed by America.

Oops, I Fell on a Vacuum Cleaner...

Hickeys are not classy.

--Contributed by Ireland.

I'm not gonna lie, I just did this.

However, handing in a paper in blue instead of black ink because your printer is out of black? Way not classy.

--Contributed by America.

Holiday Season.

Still having a Christmas Tree up at Easter? Not classy.

--Contributed by America and China.

Wedding Bells

Skipping your friends weddings is not classy.

Do not do it.

--Contributed by Ireland.

Baseball.

Actually, baseball is one of the classiest things around. However:

Baseball teams that completely suck (eg, Blue Jays, Brewers, Tigers, etc.) are not classy. Being a fan of one of these teams is not classy. (The gentle exception is teams that are really old, but suck. It is still fairly classy to be a Cubs fan, even though they suck, because they're, you know, old.)

Also, baseball stadiums with beer gardens in center field (Yes, White Sox, I am talking about you.) are not classy. We understand that half the fun of baseball is the beer (the other half, obviously, has to do with hot dogs and those tight little pants the players wear), but do you really need a whole beer area? Can't you at least pretend to be watching the game?

--Contributed by America, obviously.

Sticky Situation

People who use credit/debit to pay for a pack of gum are not classy.

And by "pack of gum" I mean "anything under 10$.

--Contributed by Canada.

Sorry, kids.

Gameboys are not classy. Sorry.

Actually, no hand-held gaming device is classy.

N64, however? Classy as shit.

--Contributed by America.

Knocked Up?

People who say that they are pregnant as an April Fool's joke are not classy.

They are also obviously not having sex.

Advertising this on Facebook is double not classy. Please stop doing it.

--Contributed by America.

Mini-Shorts.

Mini-shorts (or, booty-shorts) are not classy.

Sorry.

Mini-shorts are especially not classy when worn over tights or stockings. Please do not wear them this way.

--Contributed by America.

Bark > Bite?

Women who treat their men like dogs are not classy.

--Contributed by Scotland.

SHUT UUUUUUUUUP.

Screaming children are not classy. Ever.

--Contributed by Scotland.

Cling-wrap.

Clingy significant others are not classy.

Clingy significant others are especially not classy when they are male significant others.

Clingy significant others can be not classy even if they are not your significant other.

--Contributed by America.

Boozy.

Drinking on a Tuesday night (and consequently being hungover on a Wednesday) is not classy.

--Contributed by Canada.

Spiderweb.

The huge spider web on our kitchen ceiling is not classy.

--Contributed by China.

Drive Away.

Blocking in my driveway is not classy.

--Contributed by USA.

First Time.

Only coming to class once a semester (while drunk) is not classy.

--Contributed by Canada.

Mr. Daniels.

Brushing your teeth with Jack is not classy.

Also, coming to class smelling like liquor on a weekday is not classy.

--Contributed by Canada.

Too wealthy!

Coffeeshops that do not take 50$ bills (or debit) are not classy.

Contributed by China.

Boyfriends.

#1 thing that is not classy:

boyfriends who can't keep their mouths shut.

Or, don't have any testicles.

--Contributed by USA.

Introduction

On a lazy Tuesday afternoon in March of 2010, several indiscretions were noticed by several girls whose thighs clearly do touch one another.

It was determined shortly thereafter that these indiscretions ought to be made public for the common good.

And so Things that are not Classy was born.